


Our Love Will Conquer Fear

by bladespark



Series: Bladespark's Genderfeel Stories [12]
Category: CyberSix
Genre: Anal Sex, Explicit Consent, Genderfluid Character, Genderqueer Character, Happy Ending, M/M, Multiplicity/Plurality, Other, Porn With Plot, Post-Canon, Transgender, Transmasculine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 15:03:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladespark/pseuds/bladespark
Summary: Sometimes it feels like there are two completely different people stuffed into Cybersix's head, so it's no wonder they tend to use "they" when not playing a specific role.  That had always seemed like it would make anything resembling romance impossible, but having somehow managed to survive Von Richter's death, Cybersix now has the time to face the wonderful—and terrifying—thought that Lucas Amato actually knows and likes both sides of them.  Can it work out between the two (or three?) of them?  There's only one way to find out...





	Our Love Will Conquer Fear

**Author's Note:**

> The post-canon, give-them-a-happy-ending fic that all dozen Cybersix fans out there always wanted.
> 
> I haven't actually re-watched the show recently, so forgive me if I get any little details wrong.

In the quiet hours just before the dawn, a person sat atop a roof overlooking the city of Meridiana, which was peaceful, as it had not been for a very long time.

Oh, not _perfectly_ peaceful. There would be a few criminals out and about even at this hour. There would be homes where early risers had already started their violent fights, or where drunken arguments from the night before were still raging. There would be people sleeping in doorways and children reduced to stealing food, and all the other problems that were endemic to humanity.

Yet they would be just that, _human_ problems, perpetuated by humans on humans. There were no longer inhuman creatures out roaming the night, save for one, who sat atop the roof and stared at the starlit city in silence.

Cybersix could just see the crater near where Richter’s lab had been until six months ago. The crater where they ought to have died too, but somehow they and a handful of others had survived. Nothing human could have made it, but then they were nothing human, were they?

Six months had been long enough to repair what needed repairing, and heal what could be healed. Six months had been long enough to find safe homes for the other surviving creations—their siblings, if they chose to call them so—and to deal permanently with the ones who could not be trusted to peacefully coexist with humanity.

Now there was only the matter of one final resettlement: their own.

Well, and Data Seven, but he had indicated a strong desire to go with Cybersix, wherever they ended up going. That, though, was a problem, because they really didn’t know what they wanted. They didn’t know much of anything really. With the immediacy of survival in a life filled with constant danger now removed, they’d had time to think, but all their thinking had done was go in circles.

The word “they” itself was a deep irony, for they did feel sometimes like two completely different people, stuffed into one brain that was probably too small to contain it all, and yet somehow did.

If one person were the real one, and one the disguise, it would all be so simple. But they couldn’t decide if they were actually Adrian, moonlighting as Cybersix, or Cybersix, hiding as Adrian. They had been created as Cybersix, of course, but letting _that_ particular fact determine reality would be giving their creator far too much power. They might not be human, but they were _not_ merely a minion of Dr. Richter; they had decided that a long, long time ago.

What were they, though? Adrian’s body was false. He pretended to be physically human, physically male, but he was neither. The binding undershirt and the glasses were lies, things the truth hid behind.

Yet Cybersix lied just as often. Her body was the truth, inhuman but feminine, but her attitude of unfeeling calm, the coolness necessary for the work she did, the lack of fear and the lack of feelings, those things were lies too. They felt many things, intensely, deeply, but had always hidden them. Becoming Adrian had been astonishingly freeing; being human, allowing those strangely human feelings out for the first time.

So which should they choose to call real? The human Adrian must be a lie, but the inhuman Cybersix must be as well.

If they only knew which to pick they might know where to go, how to live.

They might know how to face—or not face—the one person who had come to know and care for both of them.

Cybersix bit their lip as they looked out over the city, towards where a particular apartment lay, inhabited by the likely-sleeping Lucas Amato, who was a wonderful enigma, a human puzzle, and proof that humans could be as complicated in their own way as Cybersix was. Lucas who by now must know the truth. He was not stupid, he could not possibly have failed to put three and three together by now, and come up with six.

That thought was terrifying and alluring at the same time. A person who knew both sides of them, who could see all of them, all that they were. It was vulnerable, frightening, dangerous…beautiful.

Giving in to the fear was so very tempting, though.

There were many places they could go besides Meridiana, after all. They knew of other not-quite-humans out there, others who haunted the night and defended their cities. There was a man—probably human, but with abilities that pushed the limits of what that meant—who dressed as a bat and defended the inhabitants of far-off Gotham, for example. And of course everyone in the world knew about Metropolis’ Superman, who sometimes intervened elsewhere as well.

Cybersix was nothing compared to Superman, yet there were no doubt many cities who’d be glad of even so modest a hero as they. They could deal with human criminals easily enough, after all.

Human criminals like the one who had just made a furtive movement in a doorway visible from their current perch. They watched the man as he fiddled with a door in a way that made it clear he probably didn’t have the key. He seemed to be picking the lock. Cybersix could stop him easily.

Then, of course, he would tell the police how he came to be tied up in front of the station, and the papers would report the return of Cybersix.

Lucas always read the papers.

Cybersix felt a fluttering of ridiculous butterflies in their stomach. It would be so easy to ignore the man who was now finally turning the doorknob. It would be so easy to let fear win, to run away to some other place where there was no surprisingly smart and articulate, burly science teacher smiling with even more surprising warmth at them.

But Adrian’s feelings were as real as Cybersix’s emotionless mask was false, and though fear was among them, there was so much more there, so much that they could no longer deny.

They had never been a coward before. They would not start now.

Just like that there came a swirl of black and red cape as Cybersix leaped with gracefully realistic confidence to the next roof, then onward towards a would-be thief, and towards a terrifying but strangely hopeful future.

****

“Did you hear the news?”

Lucas Amato looked up from the lesson plans that he’d been staring through and blinked at the fellow teacher who’d just sat down beside him in the teacher’s lounge. “Huh?” One part of his brain had immediately wanted to say “What, about Cybersix?” but somehow that felt far too personal, even though he only knew that she might be back because he’d read it in the paper this morning, which hardly made it private news.

“About Seidelman?”

Lucas felt something in his chest lurch. “Adrian? What about him?”

“He’s alive after all. He’s coming back. Apparently he wasn’t missing after the explosion, he was just sent to a hospital in Buenos Aires, but the record of the transfer got misplaced somehow, so he was listed as missing and then presumed dead. They’re still sorting out the paperwork, I guess, but he’ll be back here next week.”

Lucas hoped very hard that what he felt didn’t show on his face. Cybersix back in the news. Adrian back at school. That meant it had to be _real_. Both their return and the thing they’d never said, but that he’d finally figured out, that they were one and the same.

That he didn’t have to choose between them.

Lucas, realizing the other teacher was looking at him, said, “That’s great.”

“You and Adrian hung out a lot, didn’t you?”

Lucas tried not to scowl. It was none of his coworker’s business who he hung out with. “Yeah. Be nice to catch lunch with him again, I guess.”

When he didn’t offer up any juicy gossip, the other teacher went back to his own lesson plans, but Lucas still wasn’t seeing his. He was seeing a black-clad body, draped in a dramatic cape; alluring, compelling, a larger-than-life figure, and superimposed on that, a slender young man in too-large spectacles, smiling charmingly as he shared some clever phrase from his latest bit of dusty old literature over lunch.

They were back, both of them, and Lucas couldn’t decide how to feel, but while mind and heart were trying to go in twenty different directions, somewhere deep in his core his being was singing with pure joy. Cybersix—Adrian—was alive!

****

The next week was more than a little difficult for Lucas. Even his students noticed, for he was distracted, flustered, constantly daydreaming. His brain skipped off in a dozen different directions, reliving the moment when he’d realized that Adrian must be Cybersix, dwelling all too much on the moment when he’d thought them both dead and gone, and then wandering off into wild fantasies, though he found he couldn’t decide if he wanted to sweep the adorable—adorkable even—Adrian off his feet or be swept off his own feet by the incredibly capable, strong Cybersix. That they were the same person didn’t do much to settle the confusion. When he met them again, which one would they really be? And why did his traitorous mind keep assuming that anything would happen with either of them?

They’d both mostly rebuffed him, after all. Each gentle in their own way—and how _could_ two such different people be the same? He’d had a half-baked thought once that he must have a bit of a type, given that two of the people he’d fallen for had the same face, but he hadn’t been able to imagine the dramatic Cybersix in the soft-spoken Adrian.

It was very likely that they’d rebuff him again, whichever of them he approached. He knew that perfectly well, but his mind wouldn’t stop the parade of improbable fantasies, no matter how often he told himself that he wasn’t likely to have his affections returned.

He’d take being their friend, though. He hoped he could at least have that much, whatever else happened.

Yet as often as his mind tormented him with fantasies, it just as often tormented him with the memory of grief and mourning, so he was in quite a state on Monday morning when Adrian finally turned up at the school.

They passed in the teacher’s lounge, but Adrian was rushing through—understandably, even though a long-term substitute had been teaching his classes while the school looked for a permanent replacement, he would have a lot to do to get caught up, since it was well into the fall term—and didn’t have time for more than a quick wave hello.

The smile that came with it, surprisingly shy and hesitant, felt like it melted Lucas’ insides to goo. Seeing Adrian made it all real. He was actually alive, actually back. The reality settled something in Lucas, but it didn’t settle everything. In fact, as Lucas watched Adrian scurry out the teacher’s lounge door he felt his hands suddenly clenched in anger. He’d spent the last six months sure that the person—people?—he cared about was dead. Why hadn’t Adrian gotten in touch sooner? Why hadn’t he at least let Lucas know he was still alive?

_Adrian doesn’t owe you anything in particular,_ he told himself, trying to calm that particular train of thought down. It joined the chaotic boil of things floating through his mind for the rest of the day, though.

When the final bell rang, Lucas hurried through his usual end-of-day tasks and then strode—nearly jogging until he recovered and calmed enough to hold back to a walk—through the emptying halls to Adrian’s classroom.

Adrian was there, tucking a stack of papers into a folder. He looked up when Lucas stepped into the empty classroom, and froze, something in his expression looking hunted, haunted. The pair stared at each other across the sunlit room for a long, long moment. Then Adrian looked down at the folder in his hand. He looked up again, down once more, and with an air of sudden decision, slid the folder into a desk drawer and shut it. “Lucas.”

“Adrian.” Lucas found his heart racing, everything he’d been thinking all day churning through him.

“We…should talk.”

“Yeah.”

“Not here.”

“No.” Lucas stood still as Adrian walked to him, then past him, into the hall. He swallowed hard. What was he even going to say? He followed, though, out through the school halls, now nearly empty of students, then out of the school and off the school grounds.

Adrian ducked into the first alley he came to, Lucas following, finding a strange amusement to realize it was the alley where they’d met, the alley where he’d “rescued” Adrian, who he now knew had only needed rescuing because he hadn’t wanted to hurt the students who’d had him cornered.

Adrian halted in the shadow of one tall building and turned to look at Lucas. He shifted uncomfortably. “So. Uh.”

Lucas stared at him, feelings still churning within him. “So. You’re alive. You could have told me, you know. I know that hospital mix-up story is a load of bull.”

Adrian looked away. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry,” said Lucas flatly. He stepped forward, anger suddenly coming out on top of everything else running through him. “For six months I mourned you, both of you, and sorry is all you have to say?”

Adrian backed away, not meeting Lucas’ eyes, not replying.

Lucas advanced again. “Why the hell didn’t you say something?”

“I…” Adrian still wouldn’t meet his eyes. He _couldn’t_ be afraid, Lucas knew that Adrian, of all people, wouldn’t be physically afraid of him, but he couldn’t keep from crowding another step forward, until he had Adrian backed up against the alley wall.

“Why did you let me just think you were dead? _Why?!_” 

“I couldn’t…” Adrian’s voice was soft, almost a whisper. “I didn’t know if… I… I thought it might be better for everyone if I just stayed dead.”

“Adrian…” Lucas found his voice softening too, twisting, heavy with something he couldn’t—or didn’t want to—name. Then, without really meaning to, he moved forward that last step, hands coming up to grab the lapels of Adrian’s coat, pinning Adrian to the wall, and kissed him.

Adrian stiffened, letting out a muffled sound of surprise, and for just a moment Lucas felt completely terrified. What was he doing? He’d fucked this up. He needed to stop right now and apologize at least a dozen times.

As he went to pull back, though, Adrian’s arms went tight around his waist, and he found himself held in an unbreakable embrace, while Adrian kissed him back with deep fervor. Lucas melted into it, letting go his grip on Adrian’s jacket to put his palms flat against the smaller man’s chest, pressing close and kissing deeply, his eyes sliding closed, electricity thrilling through him.

It was everything he’d been fantasizing about. The impossible strength of Adrian’s arms around him. The softness of his lips, the feel of his slender body pinned up against the wall—the way he’d wanted to sweep up Adrian and the way he’d wanted to be swept up by Cybersix, somehow both at once, and it was completely perfect.

****

Adrian’s heart thudded as he kissed Lucas hotly. He could hardly believe they were here, doing this. He had planned a thousand different ways to confess his feelings, but they’d all gone out the window when Lucas kissed him and he didn’t care one bit.

Lucas knew, he _knew_ that Adrian and Cybersix were the same, and he still cared about them both. He didn’t need Cybersix in her dramatic outfit to want such things. He’d even said that he’d mourned them both. Hearing that had sent guilt and elation in equal measures racing through Adrian, and now it seemed that despite how much he’d hurt Lucas, that didn’t matter either, Lucas still cared, still wanted him.

Just how much did Lucas know or guess, though? Did the other teacher understand what he was getting himself in for? Did he really know just how inhuman—and how divided—Adrian was?

Adrian finally let his grip loosen and pulled back from the kiss. Lucas pulled back too, though only by a matter of inches.

“We should talk about this,” said Adrian softly.

Lucas nodded. “Yeah. My place?”

Adrian nodded. That was probably a good idea. Although… _Damn_ He sighed softly. “I have to go back to my place for something first. I forgot, this morning. I was so worked up about coming back here. About seeing you again.” Adrian felt his cheeks flushing.

“Huh?” said Lucas, frowning in puzzlement.

“There’s something I need to get. I…” Adrian paused. He’d been about to say that he could meet Lucas at his apartment, he certainly knew where it was. But perhaps Lucas should see this, perhaps it would help him understand that Adrian—that Cybersix—was truly not human. Adrian didn’t want to push Lucas away, but he didn’t want to hide anymore either. If he and Lucas were going to be together, Lucas needed to know everything, the good and the bad. “Why don’t you come with me, and then we can go to your place after?”

“We can talk at yours, if that’s what you want,” offered Lucas, finally stepping back and letting Adrian away from the wall.

Adrian chuckled and shook his head. “My brother lives there too, so we wouldn’t exactly have privacy.”

“Oh.” Lucas blinked. “You have a brother?”

“Data Seven, the panther.”

That got more blinks, and Adrian couldn’t help but smile. Gently he said, “I’m not human, Lucas. You’ll see that soon, if you don’t understand it already.”

****

Adrian stepped inside his apartment and held the door for Lucas, who looked around curiously. It was a normal apartment, though the open bedroom door did show that there was a massive black panther napping on the bed. Lucas gave Data Seven a glance, but only a glance. Adrian did have to admit that Lucas was probably used to strangeness by now, all things considered.

Hopefully this next thing wouldn’t be too strange.

He opened a cabinet in the kitchenette and took down a large thermos. Lucas watched curiously as he unscrewed the lid, revealing a faint, eerie glow.. “This is the thing you forgot? I remember, the first time I saw you, you were after something like that.”

“I was after exactly this.” said Adrian with a nod. 

“Will you tell me what it is?”

“It’s called Sustenance. I need it to live. All Von Richter’s creations do,” said Adrian, pouring some out into a glass with lines marked on the sides. His daily dose, and he was incredibly lucky to have it. One of his surviving “siblings” had known the formula, and while it wasn’t precisely simple, it was something that a good organic chemist could synthesize. There was an arrangement now with one, who made batches and shipped them out each month to her anonymous customers; all of Von Richter’s surviving creations.

“Isn’t it corrosive, though?” Lucas looked at the glowing glass curiously.

“It would kill you if you drank it.” Adrian downed the glowing shot in one quick gulp. He half expected Lucas to visibly shudder, but he only watched, apparently unruffled by the sight.

“It doesn’t bother you that I need this?” asked Adrian.

“Should it? I take a pill every day for my damn overactive thyroid. You drink weird glowy stuff. They’re not that different. _You’re_ not that different.”

“I am though.”

“Are you? Tell me what’s so different about you? You seem pretty human to me.”

“Lucas… You’ve seen what I can do.”

“Sure, you could break me in half. So could some perfectly human guys. So what?”

“But…” There was a soft thud from the bedroom, and Adrian halted as Data Seven padded through the doorway.

“Hey there,” said Lucas.

The big cat tilted his head curiously, then made a low, chuffing sound. It wasn’t quite the rumbling, almost-purr he made when happy, but it was a friendly enough noise. He circled the two of them, nudging them closer together, and Adrian laughed. Data Seven might not be able to speak, but he could get his opinions across well enough, most of the time.

“Glad you approve,” said Adrian, still grinning. He found he suddenly felt much more hopeful about everything. Somehow Lucas genuinely didn’t mind his inhuman nature, and Data Seven’s approval was cheering. Maybe this could all work out somehow. He turned to Lucas. “We should get going, though. This big lug won’t let us alone if we stay here.” He ruffled Data Seven’s ears, and smiled at the panther’s exaggerated, offended huff.

As they reached the street, Adrian dared to slip his hand into Lucas’. Lucas started, then smiled and interlaced his broad, strong fingers with Adrian’s narrow ones. The warmth of his skin felt wonderful, and Adrian found himself leaning into Lucas without even meaning to.

They walked side by side in silence though the bustling afternoon streets. If any of the other people out and about thought something of two men holding hands, they kept it to themselves, and Adrian was glad of that.

Eventually Lucas said, “So can I ask, uhm…”

“You can ask me anything you like,” said Adrian, when the pause continued long enough to grow uncomfortable.

“You’ve never talked much about yourself. I don’t want to be nosy.”

“I was trying to keep my distance. But I’m through with that. No more hiding, no more secrets. Not from you, at least.”

Lucas squeezed his hands. “I hardly know where to start. But you… Adrian, or Cybersix? Which do I call you? Which is, well… Which one is really you?”

Adrian took a deep breath, then answered, “They’re both me. They’re both just as real. I know that doesn’t make sense, but it’s true. I’m both of them, I can’t choose just one to be.”

“Huh. Okay. So I guess if I asked if you’re really a man or a woman, the answer would be both, then?”

Adrian found himself worrying his lower lip with his teeth. There was a nervous tension deep inside. He knew he was strange, different, and maybe this particular strangeness would be too much. But he’d meant it when he said no more keeping secrets from Lucas. “Yes. Right now I’m Adrian. Right now I feel like a man. But when I’m Cybersix I feel like a woman. As much as I feel like a person at all.”

“Hey, I keep saying, I think you’re human enough. Human enough to feel things. Human enough to cry. It seems like maybe human enough to, well…to love somebody.”

“I… I suppose so. I don’t feel like I belong to humanity, though. I’m on the outside, looking in. Sitting atop a rooftop, watching them go about their lives. Even as Adrian, I can’t quite manage to fit in.”

Lucas chuckled. “There’s a lotta humans that feel the same way, you know. Dunno if you’ve noticed, but I don’t have a lot of friends. I never quite fit in either. I never got on with the ‘jock’ types, I was too soft, too, well, too queer, I guess. But I was always too much a jock type to get on with the other groups either, back when I was in school. Since then I’ve had a hard time meeting new people. Most folks seem to make their lifelong friends in school, but I never did.”

“I just read a lot of books,” said Adrian, and he squeezed Lucas’ hand back. “I never made friends either. I was a little afraid to even try.”

“I had wondered how a vigilante superhero ends up a literature professor. Just that into reading, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Adrian shrugged. “Becoming Adrian was a way to reject Von Richter, and everything he taught me. A literature teacher was as far from a super-soldier as I could get. Though I used to read when I was little, too. He had a huge library, all the old classics. I think just to impress visitors when he had them, with how smart he was. He never read any of the books, though. I read them all, even the ones I didn’t understand. I’d spend all night reading, sometimes.” Adrian gave a little shrug and a smile as they turned the corner towards Lucas’ apartment building. “I don’t need much sleep, that’s how I manage to be out and about all night while still teaching during the day. Von Richter made me that way. And then he didn’t bother to give me anything to do at night. He was thoughtless like that. So I would sneak into the library and read until sunrise.”

“I always did like reading as a kid too, but I liked non-fiction, mostly. Books about how the world worked, you know? That’s why I got into science. I dreamed of being a genius scientist, making discoveries that would change the world. Then I found out how hard research science actually is, so I ended up a teacher.” He smiled wryly over at Adrian. “Maybe it’s true what they say, that those who can’t, teach.”

Adrian felt a wash of sympathy. “I thought that for so long, whenever I’d teach about love poems and the great romances. That I could only talk about these things. That I’d never feel them.” He paused, feeling his cheeks heating, but finished, “Then I met you.”

Lucas practically beamed at him, and kept beaming, as well as holding his hand, all the way to his apartment.

Inside, Lucas dropped his hand, but only to slide his arms around Adrian’s waist and pull him in for a deep kiss. Adrian kissed back, and when Lucas slipped his tongue against Adrian’s lips, he parted them willingly for it. Being kissed like this, with such intense desire, was thrilling.

It was a thrill he’d never expected to experience.

Certainly there had been people who’d desired Cybersix before. He knew what she looked like to others, he wasn’t stupid. But he didn’t look like that now, he looked like plain little Adrian, and yet Lucas was kissing him all the same.

Lucas pulled back from the kiss and looked at Adrian with an expression he couldn’t read. After a moment he said, “So you said you’re both, but that right now you’re being Adrian, right?”

“Yes.”

“And I guess that means you want to be treated like a man, then?”

“If… I mean, if that’s okay. I know Cybersix is probably more your type. You’ve said you think she’s pretty.”

Lucas chuckled, still resting his hands on Adrian’s waist. “She’s gorgeous. But you’re a pretty damn handsome guy, too. You know there’s a reason Lori was crushing so hard on you, you know.”

Adrian felt himself flush brightly. “Oh. Uhm. Thank you.”

“For a while I was honestly wondering how I’d choose, if I ended up having to choose between the two of you. But it looks like maybe I don’t have to.” Lucas’ eyes were shining as he smiled at Adrian.

“You don’t.” Adrian dared to lean in and kiss Lucas again. Lucas’ arms wrapped more tightly around him, and he pressed into that embrace. The feel of the larger man’s arms around him was safe, somehow. He knew he was by far the stronger of them, but at the moment it didn’t matter. Lucas was here, with him, and would take care of him.

****

“This is too good to be true,” murmured Lucas as he pulled back from the kiss, still holding Adrian tight. Adrian sighed happily and leaned his head on Lucas’ chest. Though his glasses got in the way. He pulled them off and glanced around for somewhere to put them.

Lucas plucked them out of his hands and set them on a side table near the door. Adrian only sighed again and leaned further into Lucas’ chest.

“What do you want, Adrian? What… Where do we go now? I’ll go as slow or as fast as you like.”

Adrian flushed all over again. “I, er… I don’t know. I’ve never… I mean you’re only the second person I’ve kissed, and that’s, uh, that’s all I’ve done.”

Lucas gave a little cough. “Yeah, I’ve gotten a little further than that.” He shifted, and Adrian could feel his tension. “More than a little further. Sorry.”

“Sorry for what, for living before you met me?”

“You don’t mind I’ve been with other people?”

“If you don’t mind that I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“No, I don’t mind. I’ll show you,” said Lucas gently.

“That would be…good.”

Lucas lifted his hand, cupped Adrian’s cheek, and tilted his head to kiss him again, softly this time. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”

“I want everything,” said Adrian, finding his voice breaking. He swallowed. “Everything. I just don’t know how…” God, why couldn’t he keep from trembling? He’d faced down death with less nervousness than he felt now.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Lucas slid a hand up Adrian’s back to stroke his hair.

“I know. I trust you,” said Adrian into Lucas’ shirt.

“Oh Adrian. I’ve imagined this so many times…” Lucas twisted his fingers in Adrian’s hair, pulling it lose from the tie the held it.

“What did you imagine? What is it you want?”

“I’ve pictured sweeping you off your feet, romancing you, showing you everything I know about pleasure…” Lucas coughed, trailing off, and his hand hesitated, pausing in its stroking.

“You pictured…me? Not Cybersix?”

Lucas coughed again. “Well… I’ve pictured you both. But it always seemed like if I was with her, that she’d be the one sweeping me off my feet, if you know what I mean.”

Adrian actually laughed at that, the sound muffled against Lucas’ shirt. “She doesn’t know any more than I do! But being her… I always was able to at least pretend to confidence when I was being her. Adrian is more, well… More how I really feel.”

“Thank you for trusting me,” said Lucas softly, hands sliding down again, pulling Adrian’s body in close.

Adrian wanted to reply, but Lucas used his hold on Adrian’s hair to tip his head back and kiss him again, the other hand around his waist, holding him tight. Adrian was breathing fast, his body alive with the feel of Lucas pressing against him and his mind hazed with unfocused want. Poetry and lonely nights had sent a thousand fantasies dancing through his head, once. Fantasies that had lately come to feature Lucas more and more often. Now he could imagine anything and everything, yet it was all a blur of want and need, without any clear idea of how to get from here to there. All he could do was surrender to Lucas, put himself in the other man’s hands, and hope—trust—that his fantasies would be fulfilled.

“Maybe we should go back to the bedroom?” asked Lucas when he pulled back from this latest kiss.

“Yes,” said Adrian with a small smile, saying yes to far more than merely moving from here to there.

Lucas smiled back and took his hand, towing him across the front room and to the bedroom beyond. The bed was modest, but there would be room for two, if they didn’t mind being close.

Adrian stopped next to the bed, and Lucas halted beside him, shedding his coat, which he tossed aside to lie casually draped over a chair. Adrian swallowed, butterflies multiplying in his stomach, and tossed his own coat after it. Then he took the suspenders off of his pants, Lucas stepping in to help get them unfastened in the back. Lucas pulled Adrian’s tie off too, and then his fingers were working on the buttons of Adrian’s shirt.

Adrian tried to not pant too hard, to not gasp in half-panicked breaths. This would be fine. Everything would be _fine_. Lucas had said he liked Adrian. He knew Adrian was Cybersix and was also a man. He wouldn’t be upset to find the binder under the shirt, surely. Yet exposing that felt so _vulnerable_ that Adrian couldn’t keep his heart from racing, lungs from gasping for air, body from trembling.

“You okay?” said Adrian gently, undoing another button and letting his hands slip inside the shirt to trail over the elastic fabric of the binder beneath it.

“Yeah,” mumbled Adrian, taking a deep, calming breath. “It’s fine. If you don’t mind.”

“What is there to mind?” Lucas undid the last button and slid the shirt off. Adrian let it fall. Lucas regarded him curiously for a while, fingers tracing lightly up and down his chest, over the binder. “Should I leave this on?”

“I think… For now? It’s hard… It’s hard to stay Adrian without it? I took off my glasses, I need…something.”

“Okay.” Lucas’ fingers slid down to the button of Adrian’s trousers. “Can I?” he asked.

“Yes,” said Adrian, butterflies still fluttering, breath still too fast, but _oh_, he was on fire with want.

“Good,” said Lucas with a smile, and a moment later the trousers were undone and being slid down to puddle awkwardly around Adrian’s ankles. He toed out of his shoes and stepped out of them, standing now in just his boxers and binder. Lucas regarded him from only inches away and licked his lips in a way that looked hungry, in a way that sent a shiver down Adrian’s spine.

Lucas gave Adrian one brief, hot, heady kiss, then stepped back and started unbuttoning his own shirt. Adrian dropped down to sit on the bed. Maybe he should help, but Lucas seemed to have things well in hand, so he only watched as the other man got himself stripped down to just his own underwear. He paused a moment, looking at Adrian, and Adrian felt his cheeks flushing scarlet as he saw the way that Lucas’ undershorts were tented up. Lucas smiled at that look and pulled those off as well, revealing a cock that was flushed red and fully erect already.

“You got me just a little worked up,” he said with a chuckle.

“May I…?” Adrian squirmed, not quite able to articulate the thought. His literary vocabulary was lacking here. Perhaps he should have read more in the realm of erotica.

“Of course,” said Lucas, all the same, and so Adrian dared to reach out a hesitant hand and brush his narrow fingers against the hard hotness of Lucas’ cock. Lucas drew in a soft breath, his eyes half-closing at the touch. Adrian drew his fingers along the length of it, taking in the feel of it, so strange, so different, yet so alluring.

“I could get a condom,” said Lucas, his own cheeks flushed as well.

“Uh. You don’t need to.” Adrian realized how that might sound and rapidly added, “I mean, I want to, you know, that is, you, uh, it’s just that I’m not human. I can’t get sick like that. There’s too much Sustenance in my blood. So, I mean you can if you want, just, you should know you don’t need to.”

“Oh. I see.” Lucas smiled then. “I won’t, in that case. So nothing can come between us.”

Adrian drew in a breath. “As nature's magnet-heat rounds pole with pole,” he breathed out.

“Huh?”

“Sorry. It’s a poem. I’ve memorized a lot of them.”

“You could tell me one, if you liked?” Lucas’ smile was so gentle, and though it felt almost surreal to match the words Adrian had so often read, of idealized things, with the sight of his strong body, broad chest, ready cock, Adrian found appropriate words leaping to his lips all the same.

“Wild nights! Wild nights! Were I with thee, wild nights should be our luxury! Futile the winds to a heart in port, done with the compass, done with the chart. Rowing in Eden! Ah! The sea! Might I but moor to-night in thee!”

Lucas stared at him for a moment, then chuckled. “I see where your mind is going right now.”

“Er…” Adrian didn’t think he could get any redder, but he was very aware of his blush all the same.

“Exactly where mine is.” Lucas pushed him back onto the bed, suddenly, and Adrian scrambled awkwardly backwards, ending up on his back in the middle of the bed with Lucas braced over him. The bigger man pressed down on him and gave Adrian a heated kiss, while his body was hot too, especially where the hardness of Lucas’ cock pushed against the fabric of Adrian’s boxers.

Adrian let his hands explore Lucas’ skin, stroking over his back, feeling the surprising softness of it, the hardness of muscle underneath. His hands cupped Lucas’ buttocks and that made Lucas grind his hips down hard. Adrian could hear—could feel, even—that Lucas was breathing fast, and there was a smear of wetness that leaked from his cock to dampen the fabric of Adrian’s boxers. They were growing damp elsewhere, too, from Adrian’s own arousal. He wanted Lucas so desperately. Though there was a strange fear to the idea of having Lucas inside him just there, the way a woman would. Could Lucas really see him, really still think of him as Adrian if he did that?

Lucas sat back then, straddling Adrian’s hips, looking down at him. A faint, thoughtful frown crossed his face, and he said, “If I’m going to be treating you like a guy, and doing…what I want to do right now, I think I’d better get some lube. I’ll be right back.”

Adrian was left blinking in surprise as Lucas climbed out of the bed and went to rummage in the top drawer of a dresser. He came back with a plastic bottle in his hand and climbed right back into bed again. “Here, roll over, okay? Uhm. I’m assuming anal sex is alright?”

Adrian felt a rush of both relief and affection as he understood what Lucas was doing. “Yes. I mean I’ve never… I don’t know what it feels like. But I like the idea. A lot. Thank you.” He rolled willingly onto his stomach, and let out a soft sound of eager anticipation when Lucas pulled his boxers down, baring his upturned ass. Lucas ran a hand over it, squeezing and groping. Adrian found himself squirming, then gasping as Lucas pressed a finger between the cheeks, rubbing over the surface of the little pucker there.

“I’ll go slow,” said Lucas. He lifted his hand away, and when it returned the finger was slicked with lube. It pressed gently still, nudging, until it very gradually pushed within.

It felt strange, bizarre even, to have something stretching him there, entering him where he was not designed—by Richter or by God—to give entrance. Yet it was good, and he couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped him as Lucas’ broad finger slowly stretched him out. Lucas moved it around, slowly circling within Adrian, and murmured, “Relax,” as he did.

Adrian drew in a deep breath. “Right.” He let it out and tried to let his muscles relax completely, especially just there, where Lucas was stretching him out slowly.

“Mmm, good,” said Lucas, and he worked in a second thick, slick finger beside the first, which made Adrian gasp. There was a burn to it, a low, dull pain, but it was still mostly pleasure, and he’d never minded pain that much.

“Still okay?”

“Yes,” said Adrian, hearing his own voice, thick with eager desire. He might as well have been begging for more.

Lucas chuckled softly. “Good.” He started working his fingers around, putting gentle pressure on Adrian’s entrance, slowly stretching and loosening him further. Adrian found a moan escaping him. It felt good, and the anticipation of where it was leading was even better. He wanted to have Lucas inside him, to feel that connection, to have that so-often-dreamed-of closeness with him.

He felt almost impatient as Lucas continued to gently stroke and twist his fingers within, but at last Lucas pulled them free. He moved to straddle Adrian, bending over him, the hard warmth of his cock pressing just where his fingers had been. Adrian could hear that Lucas was breathing hard, and the groan Lucas let out as he began to push forward was heavy, eager.

Adrian echoed it as he felt Lucas begin to enter him. “Oh, Lucas… Yes… Oh, god…”

Lucas just let out another low groan as he sank in to the hilt, resting fully within Adrian. It was wonderful. It was beyond wonderful, a physical intensity and a sense of intimacy that seemed almost spiritual.

Then Lucas began moving, pulling back and sinking in, working his way up to a steady rhythm. Adrian found himself digging his hands into the sheets under him as it shocked through him, the feel of Lucas moving within, his strokes hesitant at first but growing stronger, deeper, rougher as Adrian moaned repeatedly.

“God, Lucas, yes,” he gasped out, tensing, feeling something building in him. He slid a hand under himself, knowing what to do about that, at least, though what he felt now seemed a thousand time more intense than anything he’d ever felt in his own lonely bed.

“Fuck, Adrian…” Lucas thrust even deeper as Adrian clenched down on him.

Pleasure washed over Adrian, and he felt his whole body shuddering, fingers of his free hand digging into the blankets beneath him as he came hard, while he stroked himself through it with the other hand. Lucas stopped thrusting for a moment as Adrian clenched and twitched around him, then started again, breathing hard in Adrian’s ear as he returned to his deep, rapid rhythm.

“Yes,” Lucas groaned, and then with one last thrust he came too. Adrian could feel the way Lucas’ body shuddered, the way his cock twitched within as hot cum pumped out into him, and Adrian let out a soft cry of bliss. It was everything he’d ever imagined, and so much better now that it was real.

When it was over, Lucas sighed deeply, a long, contented sound, and kissed the back of Adrian’s neck. “Thank you.”

“Mmm. I should be thanking you,” said Adrian, relaxing utterly beneath Lucas. He didn’t mind the other man’s weight still on him one bit. “I’ve never felt anything like that.”

“It was good, yeah” said Lucas, his voice warm, satisfied, smug even. He rolled off of Adrian, but only to lie beside him. Adrian turned to him, pressing close, and settled his head against Lucas’ broad chest. A certain stickiness suggested he would want to get up and clean himself shortly, but for now he wanted to savor the closeness, resting in Lucas’ arms.

“I never thought I’d have anything like this,” he said softly. “I never thought anyone could see me, could want me. I never thought I’d be able to trust anyone the way I trust you. I thought I’d always be alone.”

“Oh, Adrian.” Lucas tightened his arms. “I don’t even know what to say. I never thought somebody like you would want an average joe like me, either.”

“Hey, you’re anything but average, trust me.”

“So are you. And I don’t mean all that cyber stuff. I mean just you, the person you are. I…” Lucas hesitated, then pressed his lips to the top of Adrian’s head. “I think I love you.”

“I think I love you too, Lucas.”

Later there would be cleaning up, and chagrined laughter at the discovery that Adrian had torn a hole in the blanket he’d been grabbing, and further cuddles as they discussed what else the future might hold for them. Now, though, there was only this, the two of them resting together, physically satisfied and comfortably warm in each other’s arms, but warmed most of all by their love.

**Author's Note:**

> Between Adrian and Aziraphale, I've written a lot of poetry-spewing nerds lately. :D
> 
> The story reached a good stopping point, so I'm calling it done for now. However I do have an idea for at least three subsequent scenes, including one more sex scene, so if you want to be updated about that if and when I add those parts, you can always subscribe to the story.
> 
> If you'd like to see me talk about writing, my works in progress, other creative endeavors, and my life in general, check out [my Dreamwidth blog](https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/) or my [twitter](https://twitter.com/bladespark).


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